bad calculators do bad things. like fishing reals they reals and tell numbers but they arent real - cause theys bad. like fake. building blocks to a new revolver almost revultion - near revolution - an eventual trans-mutagenic revolution. inside bricks just scraping by in windows while shoppers walk and dance down hallways with unintelligable police staring down - wondering if what they are doing is right - but that m-wow has got to be there, even if you cant hear it
"horny? no. i just had a pee."
"its quieter in these parts. not as much noise as in the jungle. how did you get here anyways?"
metallo smash - Ike ish cobash!
my shoes are on this time. but their big - fermenting in smell. smell. bad like fish in boots. i like boots, but no fish - but enough of that. bruised rays of misery eh? oh god she is stupid sometimes. youve got that lost look on your face again. that damn tv is killing me. big minds dont talk. my lonely princess. its all going to hell. yeah.. accept it and try to move on but keep nasty bad face in back of my face like mirror. its all backwards so it dont count. quarters cost ten dollars in some parts. its stupid. definately some broken calculators at work there. i can write but i cant write right. like a sad tale of workers killing each other - smack goes in arm. release and smile. lay back. float. these paragraphs are broken. stairs kill. i need - sad take of bread, dont think.. it hurts. you got it made. natures a bitch - but its called tough love. blow in my hands like they play gooey mellow tones - organical and warm. im happy but cold, and there are itchy feelings about.
sanctitude and solitude is icy jesuit night - smoking out under orange necrofly sky. splash and slop. murky goo and yet i venture forth for true love to find someones true love. i mean friendship. they mean couple. i mean peace. they mean peace. its all the same. just new attributes. i hope it all goes well. sandwich bags or cardboard? you never know in this day and age - milking a native name and sliding down those slippery slopes - wasting time, regenerating hope. venture forward without me but i dont mind, im helping a new set of precious lives. in my good time i help see light and with my might i can fight and win. its true - ive seen it happen. it wasnt even on tv. brain flame is going down to tom. tom dont let go. ok? ok. its good when tom holds tight and screams through bent horn.
my vaginal wall is bleeding. im running away from them for sure. i promise. if only.. i will though.. in not so clear directions. i tried, and damn, im better. i just didnt ...do it.. ...for ...some... odd... reason. ? why not? why the hell didnt i? i have better things to do than recite their useless drival? no. i have more important thoughts. yes. i think, i learn, i just dont repeat the words like a fucking automaton. yes. kill me now cause i think by myself. yes. kill me now. im going down for it. fuck. them. its there faults. i tried for 5? 6 years? i did what i saw fit, what i felt was interesting. they give me experimental classes and i soar! they give me abstract knowledge? i run the shit. they give me structure, timelines, questions, examinations, essays, empty thoughts and i drop it. why? fuck. i cant do the simple things. assholes. my eyes are bleeding.
im all shattered right now. my thoughts are wacky and in broken principle. best time to write if i were comfortable. fucked up sleep + darkness + cold feet + hormonal flux + fear failure = booty dont work right. fuck you too. my mind is slippery today. masturbation in the morning is always good - especially when its not in the morning. clamp hand loses to fur ass.
such is slave culture right? broken backs and guys on the couch. i want to be on the couch - talking. you play.. well. SAVE WHAT YOU CAN !!! really.. just try it.. i did.. i got nothing. maybe you'll get ten cents from god or something. like blessing strangers. cart trucks - crack house - drunk ass - welfare checks - beat me wife - biker gangs - country settings - parties with dull children - juice face kids - kill them while you can - i promise it will hurt less this way. just grab them by their rat tails and tell them their favorite wrestler died. punch them in the stomach. throw hockey pucks and empty beer bottles at their parents. burn their fucking smelly ass factorys and steal their fridge. starve them out. that car that doesnt work on their driveway can be sold for parts, and in case someone hit us with an elastic, we were prepared to kill.
"Thank you sisters for that wonderful hymn! Like the song says, there is one more slice of bread.. for Jesus!.. ONE! MORE ! SLICE ! ..FOR JESUS ! Amen... This one slice for Jesus.. this next LIFE for JESUS!"
you know.. if it gets broken? its not my fault. deep puddle flesh - tunnel o pain - fountain - well - low looking up but sinking down. post dramatic stress disorder. lying then paying for it.dont lie and you dont have to pay - dont share and its all the same. wake ups and other bad things break you, and take you far, but they leave something behind. your soul. i want to bring it with me as far as i go. davey is a disco queen, dancing all night like a mad killer bee fighting his way through a bad bad dream, with witches and punks being so mean. gotta kill by fire, doomsday. doomsday. kill. by fire. like chicago. by fire. its like that old time religion, and knowledge and physics and pictures and slop and death, black river cholera - disease - killed by your own spark - penetence now. bill is down, i repeat, bill is down. no more. singing in my pit o' human filth like children playing death by fountains, bringing poison to their mouths - cupped hands, crippled feet - sweet sweet singing, monumental birth right, nobel float and bloated. cant take that away from dead man - god slaps you now. this is it, flag waving and vikings bellowing out over misty mountain tops - old poetics of bravado macho boato with horns - pear trees grow where pear trees are planted. shooting star gone spangel fluck. innocence pissed on by mad maniacal meanies with cartoon wizards and beards down to their crooked pointy elf shoes. new ogg pog go small make music big though. you git it. ugg ogg be fuckin me up. psychosomatic head trips of flu and dizzyspells and i have to get up and drink pink juice and defeat evil germinology with my mezmo intestinal astroillogical signs with hydrating qualitys. old town fire emergency, up all night making copies for the masses and and masas' and slaving over this note to no one for the no one no where old man just wont shut up and put it together on time if it all works out i bet it will fail and sink like a broken sub. old men holding pick axes by train tracks with their shoes full of holes and the mustaches ragged like their clothes, but proud proud folk standing by a massive on going train car with steam and men in suits who financed the project to later hire these men to die for their engines and sit transfixed on the future and the providin' like the preacher preaches providence and the good lord smacks you again.
dont lie to me. dont lie to him. dont lie to us cause you wanna lay with him. ignore your promise cause your to self centered and you swear to much you fuck. go fuck him you fucking lying fuck. fuck you! release the beast from within cause you make me scream. my soul rips apart everytime i try and you deny everytime you ask, i respond then you dont care. your superficial. you surface sucking undeep whore of your life. you make yourself - and you break others - then you break yourself again. you dont care. you kill. you kill yourself. go kill yourself and kill yourself you killer of self. thats all you do. you talk about respect, you dont know respect. you know the same respect as those in my dreams. they dont know respect. they know crack. they lie for crack. they hurt for crack. you are the crack demon. you fuck your crack. you fuck your head you crackhead. i hope your head cracks. what goes around comes around, and it comes hard!!! i got no right to do nothing but the universe will punch back. its going to punch back for all of us who are too weak or know we shouldnt. your pain will catch up to you. you will feel it. no more covering it up with your shit. shit beamer. shit streamer. shit spewer. shit on you. shit on you. swallow. scream cause you cant breath through it. know what we know. know how we know. it all comes back now. it all comes back - with a smack. a pick axe. pain bringer. withdrawl from the world to suit your needs. you dont see cause you dont care. you say you do but you make it beyond you like you always do. we try, but you deny, and we sigh, cause your going to die, with bad eyes, and poor lies that you try to hold yourself high but nye, you lie, and die. die. anger needs expression. others want to take it out on you. your cruel. shut up. your words dont count. youve broken bonds to many times. drown in your lies.
you know what it is like to create and to know how to create but to not be able to get that out cause you dont have the tools? i dont have the tools. poet without paper. musician without a string. ass without an intestinal path. rainbow to blur visions, but it only lasts a while, while i still cant find it. please - im about to break. boiz in tha hood dont know this new sucka comin outta the northsi'de with a capability of dropping beats. i dont steal footballs mind you, but i do make a good apple crisp. black eyes. they have the cures. click dash fourty seven percent. this is what echo looks like. scratch like a mad paddy pat post man with a cat, and a black hat in which those peace loving doves come from. jargon jamble sick still fanatical - about the way it seems to fall with a linky slinky down the stairs e-fect. beep! its not good from this perspective, the round the round about. cold breath, on broken phones by highways. yeah. yyy-y-yy-yy-- yeah.
everywhere and all over the place in the emotional mental turmoil realms. chaotic and calm and bitch slapped a couple of time. you dont know... its been terrible, with broken eyes and twisty turny gardens that make me sick with mountains in the garden. 3-d adventure girl has taken off again, and i sit here watching through quick still motion. damn. cant get my glitch on, writing cause i write... well ......sorta. see that? i play with words. im cool like that, im hip like that im chill like that, i rock like that, i swing like that, i move like that, i kill like that. clip hop, bit hop, gl.tch hop, tick hop, flea pop, single sop top. spin spin ! go dradle. pearly pink. yes.. still alive.. shakey floor boards shake and i get scared, but im always scared. i just try to hide it or face it, but i usually run. im no good at the facing portion of fear molecules. they attack like electrons and im a negatron? two ton bomb. yes? yes. boop. i can boop like the best of them. yes? yes. i can boop like the best of them. best. yes? best. yes? boop. best? yes. tick tock topicity. i know how it works. it breaks like that often.. i think i need a new calculator.
side slide side to slide side with echoplexor monk ejector that track dont know cause i dont keep track - with a tracking device, devised for tracking. the thirst drives me to nuttalicious tenebrous roots. numinous like hell but black light glow. blue undertow. soundtrack to the underworld... you know the one. the shot gun blasts with the long horns and the river styx.
yes yes..so.. nothing special.. i may have unawarily eaten some breaded crap thinking it was fried tofu. deary dreary.. oh well. i blame it on ignorance. me, you, god knows i try. thats what counts. the effort. i make effort. sometimes. we all know its impossible. oh well. i dont get sick. big head. big guy.. probably has a big fridge. what do you think? does it? i like peanut butter. do you? sucker punch. i cant do this anymore.
my monkey sings: when will you tie your knees to the ceiling for me eh? we will roll in the rolls we see, you'll see, its all shame. someday they'll know. someday all see. someday me study for the sky. i might point but try. ohhh.. ehosay uu i dont say. say i dont know you its all see yeah ohhh.. someday they'll know. someday i'll go. someday me study for the sky, im going for it, in time. ohhh... i'll be ok, you'll need to hold on to me. when its time to play. ohhh...see? someday they'll know. someday whole we. someday we set sail, all the while im hung. nevermind. you dont know. gloria pie. lets see you. lets see the tree of sun do. someday.
sing sing sing angel boy love sequence!! save the earth and cry me to the river and flood their dam and damn their dam those bastards who rape and till and kill just for the money. stand tall, sing loud and i be watching from over here pouring over you in silent adventures cause sometimes, sometimes i cant let it out, well im sure you understand how it is with people who believe they care, but i just dont, cause i dont feel it, or i feel like they pity the no no boy sitting all alone with the nono love - damn shiney hope is what i have for the world outside and lets hope they shine back. i often just want to steal certain people and kiss and hug them but they dont like it like that, especially with me so that just wouldn't work out to long now would it? no calculators here to do the love math for me so i am stuck trying to figure it out myself (lonely lonely lonely lonely lost boy in a sea of no see me) - but it can only get better right? wrong. it will get worse but i am prepared cause i might meet the soul on the way to heaven, but i first have to make the first step on the first step on that stairway up there to heaven - just thart first step that is so hard to make. but i have to promise myself, for myself, for my future and love loss needs and pleads and screams and streams of tears (you see where im going with all this? HELL!!! i cant keep track of how it works ((nor do i want to)) so im doomed for ever) and that assorted nonsense, but its ok cause thats what im all about. but now im sick like sick and snotty and weird and i always feel cold and i mustve looked cool at school cause my scarf was on my head and my head was down and my walkman on listening to dvorak just chilling, sitting, sicking, examing, listening, playing with thoughts on writing and all sorts of food and how i will not be able to be free but i leave that to the de-it-y. do you like sports? i dont like playing sports. im lazy. i get my thrills from the t.v. (sad but true ((denuh nuh nuh nuh - metallica?)) but its fun too) and books. then shes got the bag i want. only love can cure the disease as they sit on the table and light pours forth from their loins, her heaving breats bounce and her long blonde locks flow in the wind - like a romance novel, but better. with style. i need a toy toy toy. but i also dream about my birthday and what that will be like - will i be walking and singing or freezing and pouting or little bit of both in some strange town ive never heard of trying to find food but losing because i am just not trying hard enough - but i bet, when there is no other option, i will try and try and keep trying because there is no other option - no option is my only option.
i want middle music to be my music in the middle so it feels like its even and my head doesnt teeter to one side and i develop this odd neck twist that cant be fixed because my speakers were brukt a long time ago. i will be walking and you see my neck all cruckt and bent and you'll know why - cause my speakers were brukt a long time ago.
i rip my lips apart everytime i sneeze. and my big ol googly ideas get me thinking thoughts that arent right. i doubt my feelings - i doubt cosmic love - i doubt unity - i doubt myself - i fear them - i doubt the soul of souls - i feel weak. pains take over like terrible viruses and the good isnt sneaky so its hard to combat with love when i dont got none. i need a stream to fill me up again. thirsty are getting thirstier.
i still believe in angels. i really do. i believe in those special beings that come from somewhere unhere and just love and take care of you and hold you tight and tell you to relax cause god is watching us and we dont have to worry. god i wish i didnt have to worry - or didnt worry cause i never have to worry. angels, babies and whales. all loving special gods in special god loving ways. same with trees stars sand and me, but as stated before i get lonely and forget all the gods around me. i try to force them to communicate my way and make them speak to me in my langy toungues but they dont - they have their own ways. stars shine. trees bring shade and oxygen. sand sits there cause it knows there is nothing else to do. angels love. babies play and whales swim and sing.
shiver and quiver and i wont feed me sleep juice and my achy breaky back is sore and im tired and i cant sleep and ive eaten to much just for the comfort and i realize im dying inside to no obvious oblivious suprise cause i treat myself like shit and i dont see it and then i look away and justify it when i do plus im lacking in all that is truely good - and i give it all away and i want it all back but they just take take take and i still give cause i know thats what i need. i need buds on trees. i need sunshine - feed my soul - cookies kill evil - and this is what happens when it all breaks down. the love gets to big to hold in yourself all by yourself, so you have to spread, and share it, and pass it over you like a glow from heaven and god comes down and we will sing loud and we will cry and shout and scream with all we have at the top of our lungs and the noise will scream and the earth will scream and the mountains will shake and we will stand together in the middle of it all holding our own, holding each other, knowing were right, knowing we won, knowing its all over, knowing its clean - and we can just keep pushing out, pushing over the top, that white bright light - pulse magik - kill nothing, heal everything - special angel choir - we be the chanters - we be the freeones - we be the dreamers - we be the rulers, of all there is, and we be the underclass taking back our lives - giving them theirs - letting everyone rise to themselves, letting go of all the holds us back - ripping apart chains and bonds that have rusted over in a great cleansing flood - destroy fear - fuck hate - feel love - feel great. i'll smile. i know i'll smile. and the sun.. the sun will come out like that blast that killed the devil inside - that holy light ball of fire and wicked stars burning and falling and the beauty of it all coming down. the strength of the earth reclaiming its place in the universe - all spirits aligned for one big cataclysmic encounter with the unknown but standing there, looking up, out into everything, together, we can take it. we can, and we will. we will take it back. its ours. we know it. its mine, its yours, its theirs, its everyones, together - united - strong - right - just - utopian vision of heaven - all brought by one blast of heavens throat. those horns at the walls of Jericho - my soul in your heart in my mind held by each other in one ball of _______. that is peace. that is my dream. lets do it together. let go. let go. Let go. Let go. we can. i promise. lets do it. let go. let go. let go. let go. one more step. let go. let go. let go. let go. no fear, just hope. let go. just hope. let go. let go. let go. let go. let go. let go. let go. let go.